Monday, January 30, 2012

Give A Little Extra - Deposits Into The Emotional Bank Account

It is fun to see people succeed.  Even when you are chasing your own goals and dreams, seeing others make progress can be inspiring and recharge the batteries of your own pursuit. Being part of their success is even better.  Not only can it make you feel good, but it can help you build up what Stephen Covey called "The Emotional Bank Account".

We must make deposits into relationships if we hope others will help us in our own journey, just as an account owner must have built up a balance in a bank before he or she can make withdraws.  When our account is overdrawn we always run into trouble (with people or at the bank).

Problems do occur, and I do not want to sound too "Polyanna-ish" in regard to engaging in the difficulties of relationships.  I have had experiences when I have encountered those who did not want to cultivate the give and take (they were focused on "take").  But mostly I have created friendships in business, and that makes working together much more enjoyable.  Doing business in a friendly manner makes for more fun, and it is exciting to find joy in the victories of others. When you have built up a positive balance in your "bank account", then misunderstanding and mistakes along the way seem like minor hiccups.

In his groundbreaking book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" (originally released in 1989), Covey talked about the "abundance mindset".  When we see other's success is not a reflection of their taking something away from our pile of successes, we are on the right track.  There is not a limited amount to be divided up, but instead there is always more for everyone when we work together.

Banks charge fees when we go beyond our balance, but people should not have policies to punish each other built in as a first response.  People make mistakes (we all do... I do... it is simply part of being human), and having a "win /lose" philosophy can hurt us in the long run.  When we think "win / win" (Habit #4 in "The 7 Habits") and seek to discover long-term and mutually-beneficial solutions, then everyone finds more success over time.

Try to give a little extra.  I know it is hard when we get busy and our schedules seem over booked.  We all can lose sight of power of the greater good.  Sure not everyone you encounter will want to live in a "win / win" world, but I think most people are good at heart and will join you in your efforts once they know you are sincere.

***If you have never read "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", it is still as powerful of a book as it was 23 years ago!  Go read it today!  I might go read it again (for the 4th time!).

Have A Great Day.

thom singer

1 comment:

Thom Singer said...

I inspired myself to dust off my copy of "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" and began reading it again. Still powerful!!!